Of course, coping with your diagnosis is going to the hardest part of all of this. Trust me: I had all those crazy thoughts that everyone has when they first find out (see the About Ms. M section), but you don’t have to live in fear that way. It’s a choice you make. Everything is about choice, including this. No, we can’t choose what happens to us in this life, but we can choose to deal with it in ways that foster growth and benefit you and the people around you.


(Bobby McGee and Me, Halloween 2005)

How I tell people

I’ve become an expert at letting people know these last few months that I have cancer. Seriously, I could be a Cancer Consultant. I find the best way to let people know is to stay positive, use (carefully chosen) facts, focus on the chance of remission and let them know what they can do for you. Even if you just tell them that you’re going to be stuck in the house a lot and could use a phone call now and then, trust me- they’ll appreciate being able to do something. When I told my mom, I said something like, “Remember that mole I had? Well, I had a biopsy done on it and the pathology report came back as malignant melanoma. But I’ve already had it removed, and they’re going to remove part of my foot, and so far it’s only in a few of my lymph nodes, so my doctor feel likes we caught this early and after I receive interpheron treatments, I should be fine.” I also let her keep my dog the first couple of weeks after surgery, and it was a huge relief to her just to be focused on something for me.

You may be thinking that this is a bit deceptive to the people you have to tell, but I have a different way of looking at it. For one thing, remember, everything is a choice. That means you can choose how you look at this, too. I, personally, find peace in believing what I tell people. That doesn’t mean I don’t fully recognize that my cancer is a Stage IV, or that I’m in denial about it. It just means that I believe I’m lucky that my doctors found it at this stage and that I know I’m going to be okay.


(Me and Hammer)

Everyday thinking

It’s important to keep your thoughts positive on a daily basis, especially if you are stuck in the house a lot or if you’re receiving treatments which get you down physically. I am extremely lucky in that I live with one of my best friends, and she, like all of my friends, is extremely funny and always good for a laugh. When she can’t be here, I call other friends who cheer me up just with the sound of their voice. If it gets really bad, I tell them I’m down, and then we get out of the house or something, which almost always helps.

Also, remember that learning is almost 60% subconscious, so I post a lot of inspirational quotes and stuff around my room, so that I’m keeping that frame of mind even when I don’t know it.

I can’t tell you how important it’s been to me to keep my mental state on a positive level every single day. If you haven’t read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey, I recommend it. Those habits keep it all in check for me and are invaluable.

If you’re having trouble coping, also try the links page and contact the counselors on some of those sites. I also spoke with a survivor who had almost the exact same diagnosis and regimen as me, including Interferon. She was so positive and upbeat about the experience, I found it to be a huge relief.

Most of all, don’t be afraid to ask for help. There are so many people out there that would love to help see you through this. Cancer isn’t death sentence; don’t think of it like that. Everything is a choice. Choosing to live life to the fullest, to LIVESTRONG, is a choice too, and you can do it.