Okay, so this whole “I have cancer thing” is new to you. Hey, welcome to the club. I'm sure you'd rather not be here, either, but at least it comes with good candy. ’’



First of all, don’t freak. Seriously, it’s going to be okay. People get cancer all the time, and treatments now are so much better than they were 5 years ago, you’re really lucky to be born in this day and time.

If you’re like me, you want to run away to a desert island and just deal with this on your own. My advice is that you just go ahead and admit all those thoughts, acknowlege them, and get them out of your system, because you’re going to need people through all this. Cancer is what I like to call “The Great Humilitator,” because I had to learn just how human and vulnerable I am. It was hard for me to admit that at first, but now I know it was a blessing. And cancer has been a blessing in many ways: it’s taught me great lessons, like never be afraid to tell those people around you how much you love them.

Of course, I’d recommend contacting all the big cancer societies and getting all the help you need from there. Gilda's Club, if there's one in your area, is another great resource. Also, get in touch with any friend whose company you’ve ever even half-way enjoyed. You don’t even have to tell them what’s going on. Just have people out there you can call to get your mind off of things once in a while. Plus they’ll probably be able to keep you busy, which always helps. And tell your good friends and family early on, so when you need someone to lean on, it won’t be a complete surprise. You’ll need rides for treatment and stuff, too, and they may volunteer to help out with that.

My personal advice is not to look on the internet for a while. Obviously, this advice is a bit late to you, but it can still apply. Give it a month or two before you start to look at numbers and statistics. They’re so overwhelming, and they may do you more harm than good in the beginning, when you’re still trying to deal with the emotional aspect of this.

Also, try to keep in mind that the statistics are typically a bit skewed. Melanoma is not exactly well-funded as far as cancer research goes, so the numbers tend to be BAD. That’s how they looked to me, anyway. Knowing that not much research has been done on this type of cancer was comforting to me, because I knew that I probably had a better chance than the statistics said. Also, as my doctor told me, the statistics you typically read are already slightly outdated when they come out, and then they usually aren’t revised until 5 years later. So freaking out about prognosis statistics could mean you’re going psycho on statistics that are 7 or even 10 years old, and that doesn’t help you at all.

Those are the things that helped me. Hopefully, it’s some assistance to you, too. And your mama.